Posts tagged ‘Desperation’

December 23, 2017

The One

I am the one
waiting for the One.

I have never entered a room
without hoping that the One
I am waiting for
might be found there.

Despite decades of disappointment,
I still look for her in every face,
looking for somebody to become that place
where everything that falls apart
falls into place.

But if I found her, I wouldn’t want her,
for as long as the possibility
of somebody else wanting me exists,
I will always want somebody else.

And I realize now that if she ever does arrive
it will not be in the prime of either of our lives,
at a cocktail party with a drink in her hand,
but that she is more likely to arrive holding a bedpan
as I am breathing my last in a hospital bed.

Only then, with restlessness and hope extinguished,
and all other options exhausted,
will I finally be ready
for the One.

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March 15, 2016

A Life’s Work

tstrs

And so, lost to myself, I find myself again, incapable of losing myself, in a state unfit for discharging what I stubbornly and unconvincingly still cling to the notion of as being my duty, weighed down by the forces that were supposed to raise me, sinking into a lyre-backed chair amid the flickerings and trillings of a hot February morning. Despite the best of intentions, things didn’t go according to plan. A few sentences were squeezed out like the rancid dregs from an almost empty bottle, long past its expiration date. The results, when viewed, will probably strike me as nothing I’d care to share. But at least a few lines emerged.

February 9, 2015

Friday the 13th

The show of the century:
IMG_0361

May 19, 2014

The Thrill Of It All

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I will be lending my oratorial stylings to a fabulous bill
at HM157. Saturday night, May 24th, 9pm.
3110 N.Broadway, Lincoln Heights.
Also featuring the return of the Centimeters.

 

April 26, 2014

Radio Ragazza

Live on Radio Ragazza:
7087587
http://www.adelebertei.com/radio-ragazza.html

February 21, 2014

A soft insidious plea

Self-Sabotage

If anyone’s interested in acquiring any of the drawings
featured on these pages, it can be done fairly painlessly
by contacting me at this address: otiosity@sbcglobal.net

February 7, 2014

Time Unregained

Pretend

At this point it would be impossible
to make up for all the lost time.
I might as well try to settle
for a serviceable desperation,
and strive, at least, for resignation:
the long hard process of resigning myself
to the choices I made
by not making a choice.

September 21, 2013

Just trying to make a connection…

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“At the end of the day, these few fleeting moments
of glory are one’s only reward.”

Performance video from the La Luz de Jesus Gallery, 8/13.

https://lareviewofbooks.org/interview/john-tottenham-
antiepithalamia-and-other-poems-of-regret-resentment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae2ywWx35ig&feature=player_embedded

January 31, 2013

Antiepithalamia Valentine’s Offensive

If you feel like dragging your ass across town on a Monday evening to listen to a splenetic misogamist repeat himself, this might just be the place. Come one, come all…

tottenham

 

November 28, 2012

Pointless Revelation

I used to be lost.

Now I’m just stuck.